When we get knocked down, it can be hard to get up again, and sometimes our instinctive reactions aren’t always the best practice. In the process of “getting better”—whether that be from a physical or emotional or spiritual hardship—there are a few things that can be helpful to remember.

The first is to lean on your loved ones. Many people find it difficult to admit they are struggling. It can feel embarrassing, like a sign of weakness, and sometimes like your inability to “just deal” with the issues affecting you is your fault. “No man is an island” has become a cliché, but that doesn’t make it any less true. We all rely on the support of our community at some point during our lives, so try to accept that this is your turn. Remember that none of us can thrive alone; we all need shared, borrowed strength to survive.

It’s also important to give yourself permission to go your own way. Progress is slow and it is not always linear. Feeling better today than you did yesterday doesn’t always mean tomorrow will be even better. Give yourself permission to get back on your feet at your own pace and in your own way. Release your expectations and throw away the timeline.

Finally, try to give yourself what you need, even if it isn’t what you (immediately) want. Different personality types benefit from different practices and also have different tendencies toward coping. If you have a tendency to be hard on yourself and to over-discipline, try showing yourself a little grace and giving yourself permission to enjoy something easy or comforting. If you have a tendency to overindulge and go for immediate gratification that makes you feel worse in the long term, try to establish a gentle but firm, healthy routine.

Humility, gentleness, patience and honesty with yourself, combined with the support of your community, can take you a long way to getting back on your feet.